Lately life has been pretty difficult. Finishing up my *last* first week of college has been quite a nightmare. Teachers seemed to attack this week and just bombarded me with projects and assignments that seemed impossible, especially for the first week of class. Lately it's been hard with all the critiquing of work and pressure the teachers put on you for your work and presentation of projects. Often it is quite depressing and sometimes it makes me doubt my abilities because of their attitude and expectations.
Lately I have been fearing the worst and wondering if I will make it through the semester with all the teacher's opinions, grades and critiques that I've already seen the first week of class. I wonder if I will make it through and pass my classes so I can graduate. So many doubts have been overtaking me and making it difficult to trust God. I've wanted to graduate college so bad and I don't want anything to stop me- nobody seems to want it more than me! I've been so tired of homework and grades from teachers. I try to work the hardest I can but somehow it never seems to pay off to the teachers expectations. I've been doubting and worrying whether or not I will make it to the day when I can finally say I've finished college! This semester can't go fast enough.
The other day while I was driving to class I was listening to a song (Steal my show by Tobymac) and it just made me realize that even though I had been trusting God with my day to day struggles I wasn't trusting Him with my entire future. I wasn't giving Him complete control to do His will. I had been focused on what I wanted and not allowed Him to do what was best. Even though the present right now seems hard and daunting, I know that God is somehow using my present struggles to grow me and strengthen me for the future. And I know that even with every hard time and twist in the road that may not be what I would want, I know that He is doing it to protect me and teach me something.
If you feel like you are having a hard time letting go of your future and your hands are grasped around something so tight in your life that you can't seem to let go of, just give it to God. I guarantee you that it is worth it. When we hold onto things in our life and take them into our own hands we still feel pain and ache over them, but when we hand them over to God we can be at peace and rest with what He is doing. It's not always a constant peace, but it's so much more reassuring knowing that you have given it to God and He is taking care of things even in the midst of the storm.
Give over your tightly grasped struggles and worries and leave them in God's hands. Let go of your doubts and fears and relieve yourself of the pain they are causing you. Trust in God because He's the only one that will always be able to help. We can't control our futures, but God can!