Lately God has really been convicting me of a lot of things. I feel like my life is just being shattered right now and it feels like everything is broken and a mess. Once I start to feel like things are getting better another thing comes up and I'm back to feeling like my life is a mess again. Things just haven't been letting up recently and I wish God would slow things down so I could catch a breath.
Maybe God keeps throwing things your way recently and you just can't find the strength to continue on. Maybe you feel like nobody understands what you are going through? Maybe you feel alone and wonder where God is and if He still cares? Maybe God seems distant and you wonder how much longer the wait will be until He answers your prayer? Maybe you feel like others don't understand your situations and you feel judged and falsely accused? Maybe you feel like others don't see all that you do and you feel like your hard work is going to waste? Maybe you are wondering where God is trying to lead you and why He is taking you down this road?
Whatever you may be asking God today - know that there is an answer for all the things you are questioning. All the questions above are ones I have right now in my life, along with many more and I feel like I am so tired of the constant worry and strength it takes to continue on. I'm so tired of being strong and trying to figure things out. I wish God would step in and show me what He wants, but at the same time I am scared of what He has planned for my life.
Lately I feel like I have been so consumed with my problems and worried that I have not been such a good testimony to others and haven't been a servant to those around me- especially my family. My thoughts have been on my problems and I feel like loving others and being considerate has gotten shoved out of my life due to the fact I am worried and stressed. I know my outlook on things hasn't been the best and has been impatient and filled with complaints. It seems like every year that I live here in this sinful earth more and more love gets sucked out of me and I don't have as much to give anymore.
Last night I felt God was reminding me to be more of a servant and care for others since I have been slacking, so today I began to focus on that more. Sometimes my view gets so far off by looking at other people around me and just getting lazy in who I am and I feel like the way I am living is okay, but when I compare my life to Jesus I realize just how far off I am. I have to focus myself back again. It gets so hard to be faithful and righteous in this world and I often get sidetracked easily, especially this past year.
And to be honest I just feel like God isn't here with me right now with the things I am facing. I feel like I have been calling out to Him and waiting, but everything still remains the same. I wish He would lead me and show me what He wants. I feel like every way I try to go is a closed door and nothing seems to be opening. And I think I'm more afraid that maybe what I want and what He wants are not the same. I know that God's way is always best and He knows what He's doing, but it is so very hard trusting in something that I truly don't know if I'll be able to remain strong through. Sometimes God seems to have confidence in me, but I know the inner person I am, and I know how weak I feel and I wonder if I'll be able to remain strong when things get hard.
So if you feel like your life is left on hold, know that God is working on things and you aren't on some waiting list. He's working on your future and He's gonna make it perfect for you. It's not meant to hurt you, but to strengthen you. Through all the things I have gone through, I have often questioned God and asked Him what He was doing. But looking back I can see that all along it was molding me and shaping me to become stronger and prepare me. It was never meant to harm me, but to grow me into who God has wanted me to be all along. Don't lose hope- God is near. He is working things out for you! and He is preparing you for the great person you were made to be!