A Christmas Post

Well, let me first wish you a Merry Christmas. It sure seems like Christmas came fast! I haven't felt in the Christmas spirit as much this year even though things haven't really been too terrible.

I guess with college and the distresses there it left me feeling excited to come home where things were familiar and I knew I was loved and accepted for who I was. People that knew the real me and knew me since I was little. I love family because they have known me my whole life and understand what I have been through. They see me for who I am and love me.

Even though when I came home things were better than at college I still felt the pain inside me. Coming home to my grandmother not doing well and just family stress. Seeing things change here with my extended family has been hard. Having my grandmother's house sell and seeing her health deteriorate has been so very hard. Not knowing if this will be her last Christmas has been bringing back many memories of my dad's death and also my other grandparents as well.

Another thing that keeps aching my heart is feeling alone this Christmas. I think college life has shown me just how "single" I am and keeps getting forced in my face. Seeing everyone who is in a relationship and has been dating or engaged- especially people I know. It's been so hard to be strong and be patient. This is something I truly have the hardest time with being patient for. Especially since I'm not sure if there is someone out there for me. It's even harder since I've never even been out on a date. It makes me feel so unqualified and lonely just thinking about it. I feel like this Christmas the one thing I want is to just be loved and have one special guy love me for me.

As I look through past Christmases I can see pain and burdens that I had within my heart. Even though this one isn't one of my happiest I do know that God is here. Looking back over my life I have seen God working through the hardest of times and I know that right now God is trying to teach me something. Even though it's hard right now I do know that there is purpose and meaning.

God is with you right now too. God is with you this Christmas if you are joyful and praising Him for all the many blessings He has bestowed upon you. And God is with you even if your life is hard right now. Ask God for strength, love and joy this Christmas. Remember the true meaning of why we celebrate. A gift was given to us that no one else could give. And no one else can accept it but you. A gift of eternal life. God gave His Son so we could go to heaven to live with Him, it is your choice whether you accept it. We all have a free choice and decide for ourselves, nobody can make it for you.

When things seem so hard and I wonder where God is, I do know that I have to keep trusting. Take one day at a time and rely on God and not myself. And most of all, prayer. A heartfelt prayer goes a long way. Know that you are not alone this Christmas- God is with you. He is with you. He knows what you are going through. He will bless you for all that you have done. He loves you.

I wish you all the best and a merry Christmas. Thank you all for visiting my blog and those who follow, you all truly encourage me and bless my heart. May God bless all of you as much as you bless me!