5.28.2013

Feeling Like a Failure

Sometimes I just blow it. I make mistakes. I fail. I feel like an idiot. I make a fool of myself. Usually it is in these situations that I wish I never left the house and I wished I had stayed in my comfort zone. Lately I just have felt so inferior and disappointed with myself.

Sometimes when we experience one hurtful thing we remember our past and we bring back out the "book of memories." Even though what we may be upset about is not even closely associated with something in our past, we often recall all those terrible memories of stupid things we did or hurtful things people said to us. Lately one thing in my life has just been tearing away and accumulating more disappointment over time. It may have only been one hurtful action but I feel like I often notice more and more hurtful things when I already am feeling upset. Certain things I would have overlooked if I wasn't feeling upset with myself already.

I was reading in a Bible study book on confidence today and the words really spoke to how I was feeling. So I thought I'd share it with you all....

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"It is important for us to realize that damaged emotions and insecurities from our past have a powerful influence over how we see ourselves today.....When doubt washes over me, often it is because something has happened to trigger my old emotions and create thoughts in my mind that are similar to those I had as a child. Insecurties from your past are not the truth in your life. Negative emotions from our past keep us from living confidently in our present and future."

- A Confident Heart by Renee Swope
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How often I don't even realize that some of the emotions I have that deteriorate my self-esteem are possibly from my past. Some hurts that I had wanted myself to forget about, but often can't seem to remove from my heart could include: not fitting in at school, feeling used and replaceable in my past friend relationships, the loss of my dog, the rejection from people at school, the pain in seeing my mom's and sister's health struggles, the emptiness and pain in my heart after my dad died, not ever feeling wanted by someone in a friendship.....I'm sure you have your list of past experiences too. It is hard forgetting about those who have hurt you in the past.

It is in these times that I have to take a deep breath- take some time alone. Spend some time with God and read the Bible. That always helps ease my mind and make me feel like God is speaking to me. I also try to remember the good things people have said to me and not be weighted down only with the bad memories. Music always helps as well.

So if you feel like your current situations are bringing up past memories and maybe you feel like you just can't take it anymore- look to God and ask Him to help you overcome the situations you are facing. He understands what you are going through completely and He knows your circumstances. He has a plan and it will all turn out okay in the end. Don't let a few mistakes or mess-ups fog up your view of yourself. You were created with purpose and meaning. Even if you did make a mistake or mess up please know that those mistakes can still influence others and be used for God. If your mistake was a sin and was going against God- ask for forgiveness and He will forgive you!  Don't live in the past, focus on today and remind yourself that the things you are beating yourself up about - everyone else probably has forgotten about already.

So go throughout your day and have a fresh view of yourself. Know that you are here today for a purpose and your past, future and present is in God's hands. Pray for His will to be done in the future and to help you remain focused on the present. Have an awesome day and thanks for reading!

6 comments:

  1. Thank you so much for sharing your heart, i know i needed to read this today

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    1. Thanks Terri for your comment!! :) Glad that I could have written something you needed to hear!

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  2. Love this so much!
    I tagged you on my blog! http://agfunspot.blogspot.com/2013/05/tagim-it.html

    xoxo,
    Jessie

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    1. Thanks so much Jessie!! :) Aww...thanks for tagging me!!

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