Where has the time gone?
Why can't I go back to yesterday?
Why can't I go back to yesterday?
Why can't things stay the same?
Lately life has been pretty hard. I thought college was stressful and home would be a nice break. How wrong I was. Coming home was delightful until today. My heart sank and I felt so much dismay. How could the one person I truly loved, the one who had always been there for me and took care of me be slipping away? The one I looked up to and longed to be like now be going away? I was hoping she'd get better but apparently not. I've never known life without her and now I don't know how I can survive without her. Everytime I feel like I just get a grasp on my life it feels like God takes something more away. It makes me realize how blessed I was and how much I take those people forgranted.
So many memories make my eyes overflow with emotion. How can I go on? Things will never be the same once she's gone. I feel like everytime someone is taken, a part of me gets taken with them. I'm left with a broken heart full of empty spaces. And how many times I get caught up in feeling sorry for myself and not for the person in need. I get upset because I'll miss them and forget of all the joy they'll get when they reach heaven.
There is a time when people just have to go. It is meant to be and God's got it all under control. But this time the loss hits really close to home. This time it hurts more than most of the past. This one I feel like the pain is always going to last. Nothing that once mattered now seems to be important. All I can think about how life will be different. I hate seeing her in so much suffering and wish I could do something, anything, just to ease her pain. Never have I had so many fond memories with someone. Never have I felt so much love for someone. It's so hard letting her go. It's so hard to give her up to God. But I know that He's got her in His hands. And He can always take better care of her than I ever can. He's the one person I truly trust with Her life.
And even when life gets hard and people leave us. I know that one day soon I'll see them again. This isn't the end- it's just the beginning. All their pain and suffering will be relieved and they'll be free.They've had their sorrows, life and journey; now it's time for them to be relieved and live with God in eternity! It's time to let my grandmother go and leave her life in God's hands. Letting go doesn't mean not remembering. It doesn't mean forgetting. It means giving God control and trusting Him enough to do what He thinks is best. It is stepping aside and giving the heartaches to Him to carry. He'll never leave us or do anything to hurt us. All that we go through is molding and shaping us to who He wants us to be. One of the most important things of going through trials is how we react and respond to what this life throws at us. We can either feel bad for ourselves and take the distressed route with our focus on our problems or trust in God and learn from what we are going through with an eternal perspective.
Choose to let go and let God take control of whatever you may be facing today. God's got a better grasp on your life. He sees the overall picture and knows what is best for you. He's got a great plan for you. Use your trials and heartaches and turn them into opportunities. We never know what can result out of the distresses in our lives; God can use them to create the most breathtaking masterpiece! So hold on and ask God for strength. He'll help you through. You're not alone!
If you all could be praying for my grandmother as she isn't doing well, as you probably know from my post. I'm not sure how much longer she'll be with us but her health's rapidly decreasing. I'd really appreciate your prayers for her health and also for my family as we make decisions.
Thank you so much!