12.04.2013

Why Me?

I was listening to this Christmas song earlier and decided that it would be a great inspiration for a post-especially since I have been feeling this way recently.

I will post the lyrics to the song that really spoke to me:

I am waiting in a silent prayer
I am frightened by the load I bear
In a world as cold as stone
Must I walk this path alone?
Be with me now, be with me now

Do you wonder as you watch my face?
If a wiser one should have had my place?
but I offer all I am, for the mercy of Your plan
Help me strong, help me.


 You all probably know of this song, it is Breath of Heaven (by Amy Grant). It is supposed to be from Mary's point of view, but we all can relate to it as well and apply it to our own lives. We all have been chosen by God to use our lives for Him. We are called to do things that are scary, that will frighten us and weigh us down. This world is harsh, cold and mean. But we are the light of the world that they need to see. We are the hope in the hoplessness. We are light in the darkness.

There have been so many times in my life that I wonder what God is thinking. I wonder why He has faith and trust in me when I question my own strength, patience, perseverance and determination. God doesn't need the strongest people, He needs the willing. For so long I thought in order to be willing you had to be strong. I have found that not to always be the case. There have been so many instances that I haven't had the strength, but I was willing, found hope, put trust in God and gave it up to Him, and it had nothing to do with strength, because I was so weak within me, but God still used me, He used me through my willingness, made me strong and gave me the strength to get through.

Strength doesn't come within ourselves, it comes through trust and hope. I truly believe true strength comes through God alone because on our own we are incapable. I have seen so many people who think they should be used by God and are worthy of His use, while that may be the case, it is truly the humbleness of a servant's heart that they can be used by God. God doesn't like to use prideful people who think they are entitled to be used by God. What it truly means to be used by God is to be a servant;  to offer yourself without getting anything in return, no fame, no praise or "well done."

Right now I feel like God has called me to serve Him where I am, to be an example and stand up for what I know is right. It's just been so hard. To remain strong when nobody is presently with me being my stronghold. People from back home have kept me going, but it is nice to have a strong base in person to go to. I feel like I've been questioning God now rather than going to Him for help and it upsets me. But I have to continually remind myself that the best way for me to remain strong through the trials in my life is to go to God, He's the one that can always help. I don't always have to be strong. I don't need to always have to have it together. I'm not perfect. I'm just a person who wants to be humble and used by God to help others.

So, If you feel like you've been in a hard spot, you've been questioning God, you don't know why God has you where you are? you feel alone? lost? afraid? like you can't carry on? Remember God has called YOU to where you are. He has a special plan for your life. He is using your life, just remember to be willing. To open up your heart, life and plans to Him. You don't have to be strong or confident, you just have to have an open heart and be willing. God will help you with the rest.

Deuteronomy 13:4
 It is the LORD your God you must follow, and him you must revere. Keep his commands and obey him; serve him and hold fast to him.

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