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3.12.2013

What is Going On?

Have you ever felt like you didn't know what God was doing with your life? Have you ever felt like your life is just ceasing to exist? Sometimes I wonder what the point of my life is? Do others see a difference in me? Oh, how I wish they did! I want others to see that I have Jesus in my heart. I want to be different than every other person in the world, but I still would like to feel loved and accepted. Sometimes I wonder if that is even possible?

necessity.
But recently I have felt like my Christian walk is stagnant. I feel like my blog has become quiet and I don't have anything to post about. I feel like I can't find a subject to post on from my heart. God has always given me a topic to post on each night before I sit down to type from my heart. And before sitting down tonight, while I was reading my Bible, the topic for this post emerged.

I hate the times in my life where I don't feel God with me. I get upset with myself that I'm not doing anything radical or special for God. I'm just in a comfortable place, doing my normal everyday things and the days go by fairly well. And this probably sounds weird to say, but sometimes I wish something would come along to help me draw closer to God. I want to feel Him near me and I want to see Him working. But I feel like the thing that always draws me away from stepping out of my comfort zone is fear. Fear of making a fool of myself or being rejected. It seems like most of the causes for my lack of confidence is facing rejection. How many things I don't do because I don't want to be rejected.

Love it.
So right now in my life I just feel confused and in a little bit of a jumbled mess inside. I feel like I have been growing closer to God, but in a different way than normal. One thing I always find encouraging when I feel far from God is to spend time in His Word and in prayer. Lately I feel like I have pushed them both out of my life a little bit more since I've been busy and tired before bed. But I am going to try harder to get back into the swing of things. I encourage you all too if you feel like your relationship with God has drifted to spend some time with Him. It will be totally worth it!

4 comments:

  1. there are times in life when God requires us to be in a stand-by.
    I love the verse in 2 chronicles 32:31 "and the lord left Hezekiah to see what was in his heart..."
    In other cases, this word "left" means he withdrew. There have been many times that God withdrew from me to see what was really in my heart----or to see if I would seek him, and seek him with my whole heart.
    Yes, moments like this are SO frustrating, but rest assured, don't lose hope. Show God what is truly in your heart, then run to him. Regardless of if you feel like he's there or not.

    praying for you Britt.

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  2. Hi Britt! I started writing a comment, but it was getting too long so I'm goin to turn it into a post, basically I've felt that way a lot before, but right now I'm not feeling that way. You'll see what I mean when I get around to writing that post :)

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