You've heard the cliches, the overused sayings. You've listened to your friends and parent's advice. You've talked about it over coffee. You've seen the last of your friends enter into it. You've waited patiently. You've tried to be optimistic. You've been hopeful. You've relied on God and trusted in Him. But over the years it's gotten tougher. Getting through Valentines day feeling alone and unloved yet again. You wonder when you'll find what everyone else is talking about. You wonder when it will be your time?
Seeing all your friends getting married, engaged and falling in love is a struggle. Your heart feels torn. You want to be happy for them, but it hurts to wonder if God has anyone as special waiting out there for you too. You feel like time is ticking and you're falling behind. Everyone else is married and you still are living at home. You feel inadequate and unworthy. You feel like nobody accepts you. You feel ugly and rejected.
It's not about being the first to get married. It's not about having the most dates. It's not about being in a relationship to feel accepted. Dating and marriage is so much more than that. It's about loving the person you are dating and being in a relationship with the person you think you'd like to marry someday. It's not about just dating anyone that comes along, but being wise about who you plan to date. It's so easy to say yes to the first person who comes along that shows you a love that you've never experienced before. Growing up in a home without my dad since the age of 7 really has made this choice even harder since I yearn to find that one person who will protect and love me like I wished my dad did after he passed away.
I truly believe that when we put those things that we long for in God's hands He will bless us and He will take great joy in providing for our needs. So many times we think only of what we want and we forget that God knows what is for our best. I have found a growing desire in my heart to find my future spouse and sometimes my desire grows so strong I feel like I can't take one more moment of waiting any more. It is then when I remember that God is teaching me endurance. He is teaching me patience. It may be harder than I ever imagined. It may not be what I had planned. It may take longer than everyone else. But when I entrust the things I desire most to God I know that it will be worth it rather than if I just went on my own will and desires. Through this time of waiting and feeling alone, I am compelled to rely on God more than if I had a boyfriend to supply my wants and needs.
Maybe you are waiting to find your future spouse and you wonder how much longer. You are tired of feeling inadequate. Tired of attending events alone. Tired of feeling out of place around all the couples around you. Tired of waiting. Tired of feeling like you don't measure up. Don't let something that might be right around the bend get your heart discouraged. Sometimes I get so caught up in what I don't have that I lose heart of all the things God has provided for me. Although it may not seem like much compared to most, I want to find joy in where I am because God knows all that I need. He always will provide just what we need just when we need it. We don't have to question and wonder if we have enough, because God is making sure every need is being met. Not by our standards, but by His.
This season of waiting, as long as it may seem, is teaching you something so amazing that being in a relationship could maybe never teach you. You are growing and being strengthened in ways you could never imagine. Maybe God is teaching you to grow in yourself before you meet your spouse so you are more developed and ready to grow a family together. God knows that you can handle the waiting and knows you are strong enough to overcome it, with His strength. Entrust your future and your spouse to Him and know that He will provide; not as a question that is doubted, but a statement of certainty.