Feeling Mixed Up

Recently life has been pretty hard. Ups and downs, good and bad days, emotions and difficulties. I was ecstatic to  have a break from college for a few days and got to go home to see my family. The time was great, but it ended with a hard goodbye and disappointment going back to college and the ache in my stomach to return to college and all that came with it.

The past two days have been filled with emotions, highs and lows. Getting back into the swing of things has been more difficult and emotional than I was expecting. Today was a bad day and I just wanted to see familiar faces from home and cry in my own room for a few hours. God had some things happen today that were really unfair and hard to deal with. I just wanted to get so angry and ask God "why are you doing this to me? Why is my life so hard? Why is everything so unfair?"

Lately I have felt farther away from God and just wanted to feel Him with me- especially here at college today. I wish that I could have heard His calming powerful voice with reassurance and encouragement. I know I need Him more now than ever and I can't seem to feel Him with me. I also have felt like my life is worthless. I feel like right now I'm not influencing anyone. Nobody wants me. Nobody needs me. I'm barely making it through everyday, let alone have someone "need" ME. My life just feels like a jumbled mess full of mis-matched emotions and I feel like I don't know how much longer I will be able to take the changes and trials. I just want life the way it used to be? when things seemed simple and life was good.

Maybe you are in a current situation where things are so mixed up that you don't even know what you are going through? or why you are upset? When life has gotten hard in the past I always remember going to God and asking Him for strength and courage to get through. He has always helped me and not let me down. I know He will continue to help me no matter what may come my way. Even though today was a bad day- I know that tomorrow is a new fresh start! I can leave all that has happened today in the past and move on with a fresh outlook with the hurt and pain behind me. Know that if you had a bad day full of stress, worry or pain, you don't have to hold it all in. Pour out your heart to God. Leave your struggles in His hands. Leave the circumstances of the day in that day. God has a plan for what you are going through. He sees the treatment and actions of others and will judge them accordingly. God is always there even when you think He is invisible and has left you to fend for yourself. He is doing things for you when you cannot even see a glimpse of what He is doing. Keep trusting. Keep fighting. You can do it. It is almost over!!!