By this point in my life I thought I would be living my dream job, I would be married and feel successful. Wow was I wrong. Often I grow discouraged with where my life has led me. I look at this life I have right now and I often question the purpose for where I am. What is my purpose? When will my life feel like I'm more than just a girl trying to get through day by day? When will I be happy with the person I am? When will my daily struggles cease to exist?
Recently I've been wondering why I feel like every day brings some sort of struggle with it. Just when things start looking up, there's another pitfall waiting around the corner. I've grown hesitant to become happy with a good day because I've become too familiar with the quick nose-dive my life often takes when things seem to be going well. It's a great way for Satan to get us to doubt and become discouraged, and it sure does work!
One thing I have found over the past few months is where I put my confidence. Where do I focus my attention? Is it on my success? Is it on compliments? Is it on my appearance? Is it on my possessions? Is it in my relationships? Lately it seems like God has just taken everything from me. For a time I felt like God had removed everything from my life was important to me. Everything I relied on for happiness. I then realized just how much I was placing my confidence and focus on those areas. When I looked to God for my joy and remembered that there was purpose to what I was experiencing it showed me a different outlook to my struggle.
I felt like God had taken away all of my friends, close relationships, success in my job, and my self-worth, and it brought me to a low in my life. When I looked to God and remembered that He chose me, loves me and has a great plan for my life I realized that I don't have to be defined by what this world thinks of me. I am not defined by my success, popularity, relationships or how many friends I have. God sees my heart, my effort, my worth, my talents and integrity. Even when the world defines me as someone who is unqualified, ignorant, unusual or untalented, God sees what truly matters.
Once I began to focus on what God thought of me, I could then refocus my attention off what others thought of me. My perspective changed from earthly satisfaction, full of its constant ups and downs, and I could place my confidence in something that would remain steadfast- something I could hold on to no matter how my day went. Days are still hard. Things still hurt. Things definitely aren't perfect or how I pictured, but I know that I can find true joy when I place focus my confidence in God when my circumstances may be crumbling.
One verse that I have found encouraging recently is Jeremiah 20:11: "But the Lord is with me like a mighty warrior." I really like how it mentions that God is our warrior. Knowing this helps give me confidence and know that He will help me overcome what sometimes seems impossible.
Some lyrics to a song that I have found encouraging recently are in Josh Wilson's song "Fall Apart." I attended his concert recently and was reminded of the truth in his song. How true it is that we find God often when we feel the most broken inside. Our deepest pain can often be used for great things God has in store for us and even though it feels like it is breaking us apart, God is using it to deepen our relationship with Him!
Some lyrics to a song that I have found encouraging recently are in Josh Wilson's song "Fall Apart." I attended his concert recently and was reminded of the truth in his song. How true it is that we find God often when we feel the most broken inside. Our deepest pain can often be used for great things God has in store for us and even though it feels like it is breaking us apart, God is using it to deepen our relationship with Him!
Cause my whole world is caving in
But I feel you now more than I did then
How can I come to the end of me
But somehow still have all I need?
God I want to know you more
Maybe this is how it starts
I find you when I fall apart
I don't know how long this will last
I'm praying for the pain to pass
But maybe this is the best thing that has ever happened to me!
But I feel you now more than I did then
How can I come to the end of me
But somehow still have all I need?
God I want to know you more
Maybe this is how it starts
I find you when I fall apart
I don't know how long this will last
I'm praying for the pain to pass
But maybe this is the best thing that has ever happened to me!
Oh man, I know exactly what you're talking about. I have spent so much time in that pit, but I can also say that God will lift you out. Patience is something that I really struggle with, as well as surrendering everything to God -- I'm a bit of a control freak. But this spring, God closed a door in my face (and it hurt!), and then He turned and opened another one, and I am in an incredibly happy place right now, even though it's not quite where I imagined I'd be. It's perfect.
ReplyDeleteThank you for this honest and encouraging post. Keep trusting God; He'll bring you through it!
Thanks for your comment Serena! That's awesome that God opened a new door for you after closing one! :) I'm glad you are in a good place right now with where God has you! :) Thanks for dropping by!
DeleteDearest Britt, you are not alone in not being married yet. I don't know how old you are, (I am 59), but I can share with you that a high school friend of mine (a male), is still single and yes, still living at home! He is 60 years old! His father died several years ago and his mother is 95 and he still lives with her, never left home at all.
ReplyDeletePlease don't be discouraged, I am certain that God has a plan for you, and right now please know that you are doing a beautiful thing with your blog. It is very encouraging and inspiring and I know that you touch many hearts. God bless you. Warm hugs.
Hello Linda! Thanks so much for your comment! Glad to know I'm not the only one :) Thank you for your encouragement!
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