Have you ever felt loved and appreciated? Like you were needed and wanted? Then it came to a haltering stop and it seemed like the whole world turned against you? Like those who once seemed to care for you suddenly stopped. You question what you did wrong and you don't know how to mend the tense silence.
Did you ever just want someone to care for a few moments and they didn't care to listen to you. The person you thought cared and would always be there suddenly lost interest and shoved you aside, just like everyone else. It hurts when those we trust and love let us down. It hurts when we feel forgotten and pushed aside. It hurts when we feel like we are put on hold.
Sometimes I feel like such a failure because I mess up and make a fool of myself. And sometimes I feel like a failure because others reject me or treat me different. Sometimes it's the prideful look someone gives me when they pass me and it makes me feel so terrible about myself. Sometimes it's the way I feel when a teacher tears apart the work I've done. Sometimes it's the shortness of someone's conversation- knowing they don't want to talk.
On my last post I wrote about focusing on God's view of you this week and not focusing on people-pleasing. How easy it is to get so caught up in how others view us and focus only on their thoughts of us. I need to remind myself so often that it's not about how others view me. God's the only one I need to focus on. How others treat me doesn't define me- it defines them. When I treat others with care and respect and I only get rejection or stern looks, I know I did my part and I'm not responsible for how others act.
It's nice to know that God sees our intentions and what we are doing behind the scenes. He sees our heart and knows what hurts us. Everyone will let us down at some point. Everyone will fail us sometime. Nobody can always be there for us. But God is the one who is always there. He's the one who sees everything. He's the one who always cares. He's the one who will never let us down. He's got us right in His hand and He sees the hurt that impacts us.
Know that when you feel like all your friends have left your side, God will be the one still standing there waiting to accept you. He's always been there when you've shoved Him aside. But He'll be there even when you've neglected Him and He'll be there when you need Him the most. When you feel like you've grown invisible to everyone - know that you'll always have one friend with you who will never leave. God always looks at you with potential and to Him you are so special. You are never overlooked.
Beautiful post. Trusting in how God sees me and not worrying about how others treat me or how they see me is difficult. But I'm a work in progress, as all of us in Christ are in this life. It is so good and encouraging to hear that fellow Christians are wrestling and overcoming the same struggle. Blessings to you!
ReplyDeleteThank you so very much for your blog, Britt! <3
ReplyDeleteThis post felt like I was reading my own diary! Kinda scary...but so glad to know I'm not alone. :) The last several weeks have been quite frankly that hardest I can ever remember. The Lord has been taring down idols in my life and it is painful. Not only for me...but the people I've affected.
A song the Lord gave me while I was driving home last night is "Completely" by Among The Thirsty: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSExZW0N7h8
It's remarkable how HE gives me songs like that :) They speak so clearly to me when I relate so much.
I've been considering starting my own blog about these things...but there's already so many good ones out there! Like yours! ;) But I might start a little weekly thing...we'll see.
Thank you so much for your encouraging posts and GOD BLESS!!!
~Emily <3